Free Write · Letter · Personal · Prose


You continue to call, I am not answering because I do not want to speak to you. A part of me would love to be your friend but you are toxic to me and my mental health. 

More than anything, I wish this wasn’t true. I wish we could be in love like in my head I always believed that we were. But as it turns out that was never true.  You left me, humiliated me and even after all this time, still feel like it’s okay to pick me up and drop me when and wherever you want . 

This is not alright. I am worth more than that. I am above all of this and I can not even believe I let you treat me so terribly. So here I am. I am telling you no. No more ever. I care about you and I want you to get help but I realize now I can not be a part of that process. I can not speak to you anymore. It’s not healthy for me. I am finally, for the first time in 8 years, putting myself before you. I have to. I got shit to do and places to be. 

Telling you all this makes me sad but I am more sad when I am with you. Your life is worth saving but you have to do it without me.